I Need Help This Time

           

            It’s over. The one relationship that you thought would never end, it was different than the rest. Although you said that before, this one was different, or so you thought. Now here you are again. Picking up the pieces of your broken heart and trying to find a way to put it back together. But just like every other time, there are pieces missing. This time even more than before. What’s next? How can you come from this? How can you move on?

            To be honest, I don’t know. I know I usually have an answer for everything, but I really don’t know how to heal from a broken heart. My heart has been broken so many times that I don’t think it will ever fully heal and believe in love again.

            For example, I am in the middle of a brutal break up. I thought I had finally met someone that truly loves me for me, and will be there to support me regardless of what I am facing and I was wrong. I am back where I started, heart broken and feeling like I wasted time. The worst part, the part that makes this one hurt far more than any other break up I have been through, is that I really opened up and talked about things I never discussed with anyone. Now I feel like I shouldn’t have. Like I never should’ve opened up.

            Ok this wasn’t supposed to be about what I am going through. I wasn’t supposed to talk about my heartbreak. I was supposed to talk about how to get over it, how to heal from it. But now instead of giving you all advice, I am asking you all for it. I need to know how you all move on. I already know the standard general responses like pray about it, take your time, ya, ya, ya… I don’t want to hear that. I want to hear about the stuff you do when you first decide its over, or when you first get dumped. The way you get rid of the overwhelming feelings of loss and betrayal.

            I was going to put a disclaimer for my ex or mutual friends but you know, I hope this is read. I hope that maybe my pain will be seen, because I’m not always the best at verbally expressing my feelings. Then again, I am trying to learn to not care. Smh... I really need help yal.